When your Relationship is messed up
The entire movies and the fairy tales have only taught me to dream about beautiful relations. It always made me feel, there is deep down a connection between two people which will bind them together and make a relation work. All that I ever dreamt of was a life of joy and happiness to whom so ever I am married.
I got married in the COVID season and got stuck at my in-law’s place for more than 3 months. Before getting married we knew each other for almost an year. We spoke to each other on regular basis and what not in world, we discussed what is good, what is bad, what will work and what will not. By the time we were married we both were under a perception that we knew each other, and everything will be perfectly smooth until we encountered the day when we raised voices against each other for our opinion differences.
The first three months of our married life, we lived with always people around. We hardly had time to spare for each other and any dispute between us has to end, because if it was not us resolving it, then the family did it for us. The moment we fight we search for places to hide and shout at each other, get compromised as quick as we can and walk out with a smile on our face.
We were finally back to a place where we planned to start our life together as a couple and now its all me and him. We worked together on setting up our new home and got everything settled and then the expectations started playing their role. He expects, I don’t meet, he screams. I expect, he doesn’t meet, I scream. Finally, we laugh at our stupid conversations and silly behavior when we get back together. It may seem easy in the start but with number of arguments increasing we somewhere started to doubt ourselves and rethink about the marriage. The best part of our relation is we are vulnerable to each other which helped us empathize and keep our ego’s aside to make our relationship work.
Today I had, one of the greatest catch from my coach Arfeen, about relationship on what it takes to have a successful happy connection and the key is respect with trust. I only consider the fact that I love him and expect him to feel the same way I do but in reality each person is different and the way they express is different. He cooks me food, varieties that I never tasted, helps me with my household work and encourages me to do whatever I wish to and never ever obstructed my way. Aren’t these the perfect ways to show his love and care in his style to me as he did all these whole heartedly. I realised the only way to get rid of these petty fights between us from now on is to trust his love and respect his feelings for me.
